What's On My Mind - A Twenty Four Minute Unedited Video Explaining Some Things
I just needed to talk .
Transcript
0:05
welcome everyone Adam the whoo here do
0:06
not be deceived by the time frame on
0:07
that clock that's not plugged in behind
0:09
you
0:09
it is not the movie reference of 1004
0:12
p.m. it's about an hour or so before the
0:16
Sun starts to set here in Orange County
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Southern California and I at that point
0:22
I am drinking yet another cup of coffee
0:25
for the day so if you're willing to join
0:27
me on this little spewing of my thoughts
0:31
you're invited shalyah for the first
0:37
time in as far back as I can remember I
0:40
do not know what to do I I am at a point
0:45
a crossroads not a crossroads but a
0:48
almost like a standstill if you will now
0:52
I have been doing YouTube is platform
0:56
for 10 plus years it's been a while and
1:00
in that time you know I've crossed some
1:03
hurdles some things have happened oh
1:13
it's a little warm but I've always I've
1:13
always kind of known in the back of my
1:15
head what to do what I'm going what's
1:17
helping to continue what the future is
1:19
gonna be like I cannot say that for
1:22
right now try to try to figure out where
1:24
to hold this because I don't have a
1:26
little tripod on me
1:28
times are different times are
1:31
interesting everyone is going through it
1:33
not just me but I will mention how it
1:36
relates to what I do I do not have
1:40
another job this is my only source of
1:44
what I do and my income I have hobbies
1:46
and stuff like that but when it comes to
1:49
you know punching a time clock and
1:51
getting a paycheck it comes from what
1:54
I'm doing this this is what you see and
1:56
what I have done over the two channels
1:57
the that was limbs of videos that are on
1:59
there and because I've done that many
2:01
videos I am fight financially able to
2:05
continue doing so and I'm also kind of
2:09
ties in to the subject matter I
2:11
I can take a break from the rigorous
2:16
upload schedule based on how many how
2:20
many videos I've done in the past almost
2:22
like a almost like a musician will get
2:24
royalties on a song someone who puts a
2:27
lot of content out there a lot of videos
2:29
out there they will get trickling in
2:31
pennies
2:32
you know nickels dimes from each and
2:35
every video sometimes sometimes a little
2:37
more so when it comes to to me feeding
2:40
myself and getting the next meal paying
2:43
rent I am okay for a while for at least
2:46
for at least a few months if not more
2:50
which brings me to the point I don't
2:53
know what to do I don't know where I
2:56
don't know where to go and what to wear
3:00
to take the videos at this point the
3:03
content if you will I live alone I do
3:08
not have a roommate I do not have a
3:10
living girlfriend I do not have a wife
3:13
so my social interaction after doing
3:16
quote home vlogs which I rarely do I did
3:20
14 weeks of a self or 14 days we're not
3:24
14 weeks that's well we're almost at
3:26
that point but 14 days of a self
3:29
quarantine after after leaving Central
3:32
Florida I was gone for almost two months
3:34
I did a road trip with my friend Cody
3:37
cross-country we went to a lot of places
3:40
ended up in Mardi Gras right when this
3:43
whole hullabaloo was starting to come to
3:46
fruition so that was weighing stressful
3:49
on my mind when you know all the say to
3:53
news organizations and they quote facts
3:57
the figures rumors opinion started to
4:00
fly around thought gosh I was at Mardi
4:01
Gras and then shortly after that went to
4:05
the opening of Flower and Garden
4:06
Festival at Epcot Center and a dvc event
4:12
so I was around a heck of a lot of
4:15
people shaking hands giving people hugs
4:18
so what you do when you're in the in the
4:22
Disney community give it a lot people
4:23
hugs and other
4:24
just you know people you give them hugs
4:26
or at least how that's how things used
4:28
to be and I'm really hoping I'm hoping
4:31
at some point it goes back to that
4:33
because I'm sure me like you you
4:35
probably miss giving hugs the opening
4:38
day of Mickey's runaway railway which
4:41
was a sea of people at Disney not MGF
4:46
former MGM but Hollywood studios so I
4:50
have been around a lot of people and you
4:54
know it's it's tough because I am NOT a
4:58
doctor I am NOT a nurse I am not
5:01
knowledgeable I'm really not
5:02
knowledgeable have very many things at
5:04
all except maybe like movie locations
5:05
and music theme parks stuff like that I
5:10
am NOT though I am NOT the the there was
5:13
book smart person in the world and I
5:16
will be the first to admit that and I've
5:18
made some interesting choices let's just
5:21
say over my lifetime because maybe I
5:24
didn't know the right thing to do but I
5:29
was around I was around crowds heard of
5:31
people herds which you are hearing your
5:35
hearing though or that word quite a bit
5:37
so in my mind I thought well if this is
5:42
out there maybe I am immune to it maybe
5:45
I have already had it maybe who knows I
5:51
don't really know
5:58
so much confusion that is surrounding
5:58
and I grew up well you know not grew up
6:02
I grew up in a very conservative
6:04
Christian home my dad a minister my mom
6:08
and dad very god-fearing Southern
6:11
Christian folk and they instilled a lot
6:13
of that in me and as I grew up a little
6:16
older I discovered punk rock which went
6:19
completely away from that even though I
6:21
never really looked at the the Sid
6:24
Vicious
6:25
type of punk rock mentality I always
6:29
kind of looked towards the positive
6:30
aspect like the Joe Strummer from The
6:33
Clash his mentality on it or maybe I
6:35
even got into the straightedge hard
6:38
or movement which is one of the many
6:40
reasons I don't drink anymore up to this
6:43
current day and because I listen to that
6:47
type of music and those lyrics kind of
6:50
seeped into you know the way I think
6:53
when it comes to think for yourself do
6:57
for yourself
6:58
go against everything and that's that
7:01
applies into my YouTube videos if you
7:05
have been following over the the tenure
7:07
of this ten years you will notice that I
7:09
kind of just do wanted to and now might
7:15
not be the time to really do that so
7:21
what do I do
7:23
as stated I could take a little time off
7:26
I could do home vlogs however as stated
7:31
earlier it's just me I don't really want
7:33
to show off my house I don't really want
7:35
to give away every nook and cranny of
7:38
this and I think if I did that on a
7:40
regular basis then that would just kind
7:42
of give away you know my my my solitude
7:47
spot I want my my house to be my
7:49
solitude spot you know maybe show the
7:51
backdrop but that's about it I want this
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to be a place that I can come home to
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and it's just me I can't feed off of
7:59
another person I have a lot of friends
8:02
actually not just a lot of friends I
8:04
have a lot of acquaintances and a lot of
8:06
people that I have watched their videos
8:08
and then I just see in the
8:10
recommendations that need to do couple
8:12
vlogs and I don't know if that would be
8:15
easier or more difficult because during
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you know during all the stay at staying
8:19
inside time you might start to get a
8:22
little stressed out with the significant
8:24
other I don't know maybe you would maybe
8:26
you wouldn't so maybe it is simpler
8:28
being by yourself but it would be nice
8:31
to have some companionship during all
8:34
this it would be nice to have you know
8:38
I'm talking about companionship in home
8:40
at the house instead of having to pick
8:44
and choose and figure who is
8:49
someone that you can trust on what they
8:52
have been doing with their last few
8:54
months on whether you want to meet up
8:57
with them now massive I mean 8090
9:00
percent of my brain thanks
9:02
who cares doesn't matter none of it
9:06
matters but then there is seeping in of
9:10
info opinions others whispering in this
9:16
year is fish this year
9:18
others whispering in this year who is
9:21
correct
9:21
who you to believe who do you believe
9:24
and who really knows so I have to be
9:33
very careful about who my acquaintances
9:36
and my friends are if I'm going to meet
9:38
up with people outside of the house the
9:41
other day
9:42
talk about a subject that just happened
9:45
the other day me and a group of a few
9:47
friends there four or five six maybe six
9:50
of us we whipped and got a meal from a
9:53
takeout spot and went and found off
9:56
property of the meal when we went to the
10:00
location to pick up the meal which was
10:02
available for takeout which things are
10:03
starting to open we decided we could go
10:07
back to one of our homes one of the guys
10:11
in the group said hey come back to my
10:13
house I have a porch we can all sit on
10:14
the porch but I knew we would all be
10:16
filming did not want to give away where
10:18
that person lived I respect everyone's
10:21
privacy so I said let's just find a spot
10:24
we picked a a parking spot well an
10:27
abandoned parking area and we decided to
10:32
eat there everything was good we were
10:34
all wearing our protective stuff at
10:35
first we were washing our hands we have
10:38
the all have a hat our Purell and all
10:41
that got off property the masks came off
10:45
because you know obviously we all know
10:47
each other we all text all the time we
10:49
all talk we give all know what everyone
10:52
has been doing for the last two or said
10:54
month so trust at each other and as the
10:58
camaraderie grew
11:01
you know as the time spent together drew
11:04
we just started to get a little
11:07
complacent lackadaisical and happy and
11:12
we were showing joy and having some some
11:16
good fellowship and and fun together and
11:18
that definitely showed in the finished
11:21
product of what we were doing looking
11:23
back on it we probably should have
11:26
planned things out a little bit better
11:27
and if depending on what I decide to do
11:30
with going forth in the videos here on
11:34
this channel over the next couple of
11:36
weeks gosh maybe even a month or so if I
11:39
chose choose to go back out and meet up
11:42
with not only them but others
11:44
sporadically in small groups I believe
11:47
now it's might be six or ten you're
11:49
allowed to meet up with supposed to be
11:52
only your immediate family but I have no
11:57
immediate family so I have to figure
11:59
that out I do have a media family my
12:01
sister lives in Indiana and my mom and
12:03
dad live in Florida which are not
12:06
completely off off on another tangent
12:10
I stayed in Florida for a while because
12:13
my mom and dad are starting to get a
12:16
little bit older and stayed in Florida
12:18
my home is here in Orange County
12:20
California and my dad was having some
12:23
health issues which he is getting better
12:25
but they were very they were really
12:27
starting to rear their head in the time
12:30
frame that I was there and I did not
12:32
want to depart so I kept pushing back my
12:36
rehme car turn in date the flights to
12:39
come home canceled Michael I had all
12:41
these plans to drive that cross-country
12:43
and then that change I was gonna fly I
12:45
kept putting it off putting it off
12:46
putting it off weeks went by he started
12:49
to get better and I thought it is time
12:51
for me to go home back to California
12:56
because I didn't want to be around I
13:02
didn't want to be around in that
13:04
situation of my family I did not want to
13:07
be going out on a hike I did not want to
13:09
be going walking and because I do not
13:12
know the absolute
13:14
percent truth there is nothing from
13:17
above shining into my ear saying this is
13:20
a hundred percent correct I have to go
13:22
off of my intuitions my thoughts what I
13:25
believe and what I read research see and
13:30
hear on what is the best policies and I
13:34
felt it best for me to fly home so I
13:36
flew on a nearly empty airliner American
13:40
Airlines airliner got back here it was a
13:44
surreal experience immediately the next
13:47
day after that happened all over it all
13:53
over the Internet
13:54
lots of stewardesses stewards air bulk
13:59
and all all the correct words we're
14:02
starting to see they were starting to
14:07
see this thing that's going around
14:09
formulate in their system in a lot of
14:12
numbers and of course now I'm just like
14:15
more weight on my shoulder went to Mardi
14:18
Gras went to Disney hugging meeting
14:21
people taking selfies you know
14:24
everyone's in line having a great time
14:27
this when I would weeks I was at Disney
14:29
berry packed I went there was three I
14:32
was at the final day four days there was
14:35
three days of the closure of Walt Disney
14:37
World
14:38
Disneyland only had once on Friday the
14:40
13th of that month any member will want
14:43
to see Mike I spent forever ago
14:46
Disneyland closed on the 13th they made
14:48
the announcement the night before for
14:49
both coasts I was in Florida I was in
14:52
that park when they made the
14:53
announcement did a video on that and
14:55
then I went the following three days and
14:58
just documented the experience because I
15:02
felt you know for posterity it needed to
15:04
be shown it needed to be something I
15:06
want to look back on so I did that in
15:08
that time even though all this info was
15:12
out there the crowds were thick I was
15:16
around it so now during all this and
15:20
then afterwards they were disney was the
15:22
first to close and then I went to Gator
15:24
land did a video Gator land
15:27
the used to be called the Orlando Eye
15:28
now it's called the something it's
15:31
called sent the big ferris wheel icon
15:33
Orlando so to all these places fun spot
15:36
the last couple days a fun spot so I was
15:38
staying in the thick of it just because
15:42
it was like you know maybe it was
15:43
because I wanted to see with my own eyes
15:45
maybe it's that rebellious nature maybe
15:48
it had not sunk into the psyche the
15:52
psyche psyche the mentality of of the
15:58
socialness social media so digress is it
16:05
worse now than it was then
16:08
are things worse now than they were then
16:12
I don't know so that seeps into the old
16:17
noggin and I think well if I went
16:19
through that and if they're all big if I
16:23
do not I am NOT a doctor I do not know
16:25
who to trust I do not know who to listen
16:28
to I have to just go what's in here in
16:31
here and value what my friends
16:35
acquaintances cohorts and people that I
16:41
know I have to have to go off of my gut
16:44
instinct on if they are following the
16:46
rules which I think they have I have
16:49
made some I have made some good choices
16:51
on those and not all of them are people
16:53
that will show up in a vlog or a video
16:56
you know I do there are people who do
16:59
not want to be on camera but the number
17:02
of them are dwindling considerably just
17:05
because I'm sure your interaction of the
17:07
folks has dropped considerably so where
17:11
do I go next what do I do now
17:19
do I take some time off do I stay the
17:19
course and continue going out either by
17:23
myself do I meet up with others
17:27
collaborate or just hang out without
17:30
even turning the camera on or if I turn
17:33
the camera on
17:34
as stated I will probably approach
17:37
things a little bit differently maybe
17:39
well I think
17:40
I think everyone involved will probably
17:45
taper it back just a little bit not stop
17:48
it
17:49
but taper it back just I would assume
17:51
that's the case I've also been thinking
17:55
about traveling so Pigeon Forge
17:58
Gatlinburg Tennessee to see is basically
18:01
as open as a state is right now can I go
18:06
there can i book a flight to Knoxville
18:08
can i book a flight to Atlanta would
18:11
that be frowned upon you know you have
18:14
you have the info you have you have the
18:17
news you have the opinions you have
18:18
other people coming at you from this
18:21
angle coming at you from this angle but
18:25
there is also you know that's all the
18:27
info in today ting you but you also have
18:31
what people are what people's I don't
18:34
say opinions but what people are saying
18:37
out loud reposting shaming you could say
18:42
so you have all that and a lot of that
18:45
is could be truths a lot of the you know
18:47
I I don't delete any sort of comments I
18:50
don't ever think about okay this person
18:53
is completely wrong unless it is
18:54
something that is just so over the top
18:57
you know about a family member or a
19:00
friend you know if they're pinpointing
19:03
someone or telling you know okay this is
19:05
the personal info about that that yeah I
19:07
might block that comment but when people
19:10
disagree with what I have done I want to
19:12
see it I want to see I want to see the
19:14
layers start to roll down and I want to
19:18
see other people chime in and give their
19:20
thoughts because that is how that is how
19:23
you learn we have to have an open mind
19:24
and we have to have we have to have some
19:27
knowledge from all angles but you cannot
19:30
listen to just one person because
19:33
everyone you know obviously within the
19:35
thing this this whole gosh this whole
19:38
thing really shows that everyone differs
19:41
it is everything is so everyone's so
19:43
divided right now
19:50
how lost my place I'm not reading
19:50
anything this is all off the saw one
19:52
take I've got a one taken a long time
19:54
but I lost my train of thought so I
19:57
really would like to go well I I'm
20:02
thinking about going to Pigeon Forge or
20:04
Gatlinburg that it probably will not
20:06
happen but I thought what if I just went
20:09
out there for a month what if I went out
20:10
there for a couple of weeks and then
20:12
while I was there
20:13
what now Florida is starting to open
20:15
what if I go to Florida and in Florida
20:19
if everyone is a little bit more you
20:21
know chill is that right or wrong I
20:25
don't know but in doing so will because
20:31
you know California is more of a you
20:35
know if you're home you're a little bit
20:36
more safe they say would being in
20:42
Florida make that a little more calming
20:44
on the nerves with being in Tennessee
20:45
makes that a little more calming on the
20:47
nurse I am rambling I have said so much
20:50
I have said so little
20:52
maybe I answered what is on sums some
20:58
folks mind I might not have but I just
21:02
needed to talk I just needed a drink
21:05
some caffeinated goodness in the form of
21:08
a coffee I'm excited for Disneyland to
21:13
reopen
21:14
I am excited for Florida to Rio and I am
21:18
gonna do my darndest to be at both of
21:21
those opening lets they open on the same
21:23
day or not it just depends
21:30
I'll wrap it up with this you might see
21:34
some videos from me maybe tomorrow maybe
21:36
the next day maybe this week you might
21:39
not I might take some time off if I took
21:42
a week off I would not go hungry I am
21:47
doing okay so time will tell I don't
21:54
really want to do at home videos I might
21:56
do one or two you know I got some more
21:58
stuff I could show off but I don't want
22:00
to do the focus where it's just like a
22:01
home type of vlog I have always this is
22:05
another thing it's just my whole being
22:10
is being outside it is being around
22:13
people it is traveling it is seeing
22:16
stuff you know I know you're probably
22:19
saying cry me a river I've been I've
22:21
been dealing with this as well we all we
22:23
all have in our own ways everyone has
22:25
their own thing but gosh this is I just
22:29
want to get in the car I want to rent a
22:30
car I just want to do a cross-country
22:32
trip who knows
22:39
guess you just have to wait and see it's
22:41
a little teaser the good news is though
22:45
here around Orange County California
22:47
Southern California and Los Angeles
22:49
things are slowly opening very slowly
22:53
compared to the rest of the US very very
22:57
very slowly I just needed to get this
23:02
off you feels it's not great to talk to
23:04
talk to thank you guys I don't say thank
23:10
you rare rarely do I say thank you
23:12
anymore sometimes I forget sometimes you
23:17
know when the people when I put the
23:19
video up people will chime in down in
23:22
the comments section I will always make
23:24
sure to reply to like 100 of them you
23:27
know 50 of them a couple of them I'll
23:28
think people in there but in the videos
23:30
I will just I just kind of focused on
23:33
the content so much instead of just
23:35
always constantly saying thank you or
23:38
you know other other words that
23:41
sometimes if you say them enough do not
23:43
really they're not really poignant
23:46
enough and because sometimes I don't say
23:48
it enough I think it's time to say thank
23:50
you for listening and if you enjoyed
23:53
this particular video give me a big
23:57
favor and give it a big thumbs up
23:59
I could really I'd really like to know
24:05
that you care and I'll see you in the
24:08
next video the vlog is over